[CONTINUE + 4] INTRO

[foundationmods]

[After so long a trip, you're all finally here. Taken through a hidden passage inside of the very mountain itself, you find yourself standing in front of a field of flowers, growing well due to the open roof above it. If you look up, you can just make out the shimmering colors off of the barrier - looking almost like the shine off of a soap bubble.

Try not to trample on the flowers as you approach the open, purple gate. And remember to wear your masks, now that you're here!

...Still, the sight of the yellow flowers waving in the wind....such a cheery sight fills you with determination for what's to come.

Welcome to the Underground.

...Again. The loop happened again, and you're here. Everything is the same.

Someone who was dead is alive again.

The trial...it was...you remember only up until Gilgamesh was FOUGHT against, and then...nothing.

You feel you shouldn't try to remember anything beyond that.

Not only that, But more monster names have faded from your memory.

...When will this end?]

Comments

[dereban]

[Yesterday was just so much.

To be honest, if it were just some ordinary trial, it'd be fine - but of course it wasn't. And that's where she hit her breaking point. Memory loss was never something that she could ever accept.

And that's why she snapped too harshly, too quickly.

But at the same time... she knows that she absolutely meant it, too. Because there's that nagging, gut feeling of where she feels so useless compared to everyone else. And even when she's in her element, with having no powers and all, there's still something lacking -

She knows she's not allowed to lean on others...

... but she can't just push them away, either...

Those two contradicting thoughts - how she wants to throw away any and all emotions and shut herself out like she used to, and how she wants to be more earnest, more true to herself... but she's not sure if she can even do that anymore.

Whenever she gets the chance, she heads straight towards the river house - not to look for anything, but just to sit down, right next to the river, staring... not exactly impassively at it, but there's a sense of longing in her expression.

If anyone dares to see her - she's writing something in her notebook; she also has her phone off to the side. She seems to be keeping it to her home menu screen, which seems to have a photo as her current wallpaper. There's also music playing from her phone as well.

And if there's someone who dares to listen in, she does speak, softly, to herself:]

I wonder what they'd all think if they saw me now... ha. I really am a mess, aren't I?

[For a moment, she runs fingers through her bangs, chewing on her lower lip anxiously.]

Let's see if I can at least write this piece, though.

[oceanicbutterfly]

[Karen has been unsure about this ever since the meeting yesterday. In fact, she'd almost settled on avoiding Inaba for a while. But then she comes across her by accident while looking for something to do with herself.]

...Inaba?

[dereban]

[When Himeko hears her name called out, she's caught a little off guard; sprung out of her reverie as she closes her notebook.]

A-Ah... hey.

[oceanicbutterfly]

[AAAH OH NO]

--I'm sorry.

[dereban]

Hm?

[She pulls her legs in close to her chest from where she's sitting, blinking owlishly at Karen.]

... for what?

1/2

[oceanicbutterfly]

I meant startling you.

2/2

[oceanicbutterfly]

But also, for not understanding your feelings.

[dereban]

Ah, that...

[Her words trail off as she lets out a heavy sigh, her shoulders sagging.]

I still don't think anyone fully understands, though.

[oceanicbutterfly]

I know I don't. I don't know if I even can.

[A problem that is only part her, really.]

But all this time I've wanted to protect you, and...

[dereban]

I...

Not wanting to always be protected is the reason why I never go by my first name around most people, you know.

[oceanicbutterfly]

...oh.

[She never put that together.

She's quiet for a while.]

I shouldn't have come here.

[dereban]

[She finds herself sighing, shaking her head.]

It's fine, you didn't know.

But - if you want to leave... I won't stop you, either.

[oceanicbutterfly]

Thank you, but... I don't mean [she gestures to the river house] here. I mean here. Underground.

[dereban]

Oh.

Why?

[oceanicbutterfly]

I came here for two reasons. There's the mission, saving the world, and I also wanted to keep you safe. Now I don't even know what making progress on the mission looks like, let alone what I could contribute to it, and not only could I not protect you even when I had powers, but it turns out you specifically didn't want to be protected anyway.

[dereban]

There's... 'protecting' and then there's 'overprotecting'.

And I think this case is the latter. It's like - I don't know. Hearing you say this makes me feel used, rather than being an actual friend? I can't be the sole person that you rely on, that you place all your ideals on.

There's more to life than 'saving the world' and 'myself', you know.

It's not as if any of us really know what we're doing really, either. Hell, at this point I'm just throwing spaghetti at the wall and hoping something sticks. [And as a planner, that kind of sucks for her, but it's something she has to deal with.] Maybe you just need to turn things around.

Instead of thinking of 'what can I contribute', look back at the options. What items do I have? What can I do with these items? What places have I not looked at? Who haven't I spoken to? What questions do I have? What do I normally do? What is something that I haven't normally done that is within my ability to do?

It doesn't matter if someone else may have done that already. People have different experiences, different ways of thinking. Even one small thing can be enough. It doesn't have to be anything big.

[oceanicbutterfly]

That wasn't what I...

I really do have a talent for saying the wrong thing.

[She sits on the ground and rests her head in her hands.]

And now we're talking about my problems. Again.

[dereban]

I have a penchant for assuming things based on the phrasing, so you need to say it more clearly...

[She sighs, taking her phone as it swaps to a different song on her playlist.]

Do you really want to know my problems, though?

[oceanicbutterfly]

[She'll try to work on her phrasing, she guesses, but for now...]

I want you to talk to someone about them with someone you feel comfortable with. I'd like it if that was me, but it doesn't have to be.

[dereban]

... I can't. It's near impossible to find any sort of comfort in talking about this. To anyone.

[oceanicbutterfly]

[She gets that, actually. ]

Then, someone you can be almost comfortable with. Someone you feel somewhat less reluctant to tell than other people.

[dereban]

... that's also pretty much impossible.

Because I would have already told Atsushi in that case.

[oceanicbutterfly]

...if it's like that, then I think it has to be me after all.

[dereban]

I can tell you... but -

I am fairly certain that you won't like hearing any of it. Even so, do you want to still wish to listen?

[oceanicbutterfly]

Yes. I'm sure.

[If she was going to stop listening to things because she didn't like hearing them, she'd definitely be in the wrong place.]