Week 4

[foundationmods]

It finally happened. Someone murdered, and was punished for it. After a particularly grueling trial, one much worse than the games ever were, everyone definitely needed the rest of the weekend to rest up. But now it is Monday once more, and that means it is time to get back to 'work'.

The cameras have moved again, and the contestants will need to be careful where they say what until their new locations have been revealed. In addition to that, the house itself seems to have changed, with its usual colorful appearance suddenly a bit more grey. Even the weather seems to be gloomy, with those storm clouds from last week starting to overcast the area, threatening to drop rain.

Seventeen contestants remain in this game of death. How many more will fall before the game is over? And how many more will be driven to murder?


Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursdsay

Navigation | Dazai's PCs | Locations | confessions camera | PC post | IC rules

Comments

[dereban]

High school crap, but it makes no difference.

But even so, I wouldn't hesitate to do what needs to be done. The decapitation was nothing.

If I'm only playing the role for a short period, it'd be easy to shoot Atsushi and drag out his worst traumas for me. Because Dazai would know them and use that as fodder.

[failsaw]

You ever shoot someone before?

[dereban]

No.

I had the guns training, but I've never had to shoot anything before. Not with live ammunition, anyway. But it isn't as if I'm going to rush into this head first if I do wind up doing it.

I can get some practice in.

[failsaw]

It's entirely fuckin' different. Target practice is one thing, but actually maiming or killing someone will fuck you up the first time, it doesn't matter who you are. And it isn't supposed to be his first time, is it?

[prayerwheel]

...I'm going to have to agree, here.

[ what is the world coming to ]

When you kill someone, it does change you. You can fake some things, but...Inaba. Please consider all of this very carefully.

[dereban]

We weren't planning on killing anyone with this plan to begin with-- but fine, it doesn't matter.

Even if they are two separate things, I'm willing to do it if I must. And if I have to slam my emotions down to do it, I can and I will.

Neither of you know anything about me, so don't assume that I can't make it out of this without being "myself". Whether that self is pretending to be him or not, whether it means having to shoot someone or not.

I'm not weak or worthless.

[failsaw]

I don't give a shit about you, or what happens to you after. But if you do this, and you hesitate for a fuckin' instant, we're all dead.

And you've got no idea what you're gonna be feeling when you hurt someone, or when you have to pretend to be him and kill someone because it's his job. Don't fuckin' say you can just turn off your reactions, that's the kinda thing a kid with no experience says before fucking up.

[dereban]

And you simply weren't paying attention to what I was saying earlier, were you?

You really don't know me, so you have no right in saying something like that. And I'll repeat it again until it gets into your thick skull: I don't have to be 'Dazai' the whole time, nor do I have to kill someone during the duration when I replace him.

[failsaw]

And I'll fuckin' say it again, kid. You have no clue what you're getting into. You have no clue about how you're gonna react, and you have no clue about what the fuck's gonna get fucked up behind the scenes.

[dereban]

[ she'll raise her hands and groan she is not having this conversation right now, she's done.

It's just going to go in circles anyway. ]

[prayerwheel]

I never said that you were weak. One can suffer from outcomes like we're discussing, not even from murder, from smaller things, and still be strong.

[ them's the ptsd shakes, inaba ]

Regardless, I'm not saying that you shouldn't go about doing this. I'm simply advising you to be careful, very careful in your consideration, because whether or not you believe I'm insulting your strength, I do care about you, and I wish for you to stay safe mentally as well as physically.

If you're sure that you can self-contain and keep yourself functioning...then yes, I'll be fretting about you for nothing. I sincerely hope that is how it is.

[dereban]

My mental health has already gone to shit, Azura. Right even before this game even started. I can handle anything at this point.

[odasaku]

Not being able to kill doesn't make you weak or worthless, Inaba. And if you can kill without batting an eyelash, then that doesn't make you strong either.

[ oda gives her a troubled look ]

I don't doubt you can play the part of Dazai, but I just wanted to point that out.

[dereban]

. . .

[ she sighs heavily shaking her head. ]

I haven't been able to do anything this whole time but be saved by other people. Maybe killing or not doesn't prove my worth.

But I haven't been able to do a single damn thing otherwise.

[odasaku]

That's not true. You've kept people together this whole time, along with the others. You got a lot of information, too. That's worth a lot more than you think.

[dereban]

Ahaha. . .I've honestly never felt that way, not back then, not now, even when people say it.

[ she is very much the leader type but she sure as well doesn't feel like it right now. ]

[odasaku]

Mhm.

[ he nods understandingly. ]

If you don't believe yourself, then it won't matter how many people say it. You'll still think they're lying, or that you're just fooling them all.

[dereban]

Sometimes you have to fool yourself before you can fool anybody else.

[odasaku]

You can't fool yourself, Inaba--not completely, at least. Look at what's happening right now.

1 / 2

[dereban]

[ for a second her expression falters — like a train just crashed right at her. ]

[dereban]

[ but it's soon slammed shut as she finds herself. . .laughing? that's not a good sign.

and it feels like broken piano keys. ]

Ahaha. Maybe you're right.

[ the expression in her eyes dims quite a bit and her voice is entirely hollow; like someone carved out all of her emotions. ]

But you know what? It's kind of sad.

I'm only useful because I can do those things. If I wasn't able to gather people together, if I wasn't able to get any sort of information. . . Nobody would need me.

So I want to do something more. But I guess I just can't even try.

[odasaku]

Someone will always need you, Inaba.

[ oda notices her change of expression, and speaks in a tone of voice that he hasn't used in a while. it's full of conviction, like he believes 100% what he's saying. even though he knows that she might not believe it completely, he'll be happy if she takes anything from this. ]

Even if you aren't always working or if you don't have special powers, someone will always be there that cares for you, despite what you think about yourself or how undeserving you think you are of it.

[ he pauses, his expression softening at the edges. ]

You may think you're expendable and worthless--in the eyes of the Foundation, we all are. But to us, you're a person. You're someone with thoughts, feelings, and dreams-- and that has value.

[dereban]

[ she's quiet for the longest of moments, looking almost contemplative but that expression is soon shut down as well. ]

He said that to me, once.

[ her answer is quiet, but it's there. ]

[odasaku]

Sometimes you gotta be told things a couple times for it to get through your head.

[dereban]

. . . he said that, too.

That "sometimes someone needs to hear those encouraging words from someone else."