thefoundation | Week 3 Mingle

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round 4

Week 3 Mingle

The last week has brought the first spilled blood. Three of the contestants are gone, with the promise of more to fall soon. The atmosphere around the house will start to get heavy around Wednesday, which is when the first game of the week is. It's almost like the house knows something is up...

The conspiracy is beginning to unravel. Dazai isn't Dazai, and the cracks are forming in his act. But that act must be held up, or the Foundation will be brought in to take control of the game. Now everyone must play the part and act like everything is normal, at least on camera. That stress of always performing is bound to make someone crack eventually.

Once again, the cameras and microphones change. The contestants will have to search out new spots for their secret conversations. Even one wrong step, one wrong word, and it's all over for this group. Everyone is watching, and they need to play their roles.

They better keep an eye out too, because storm clouds are starting to loom over the area, both figuratively and literally.

Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursdsay

Navigation | Dazai's PCs | Locations | confessions camera | PC post | IC rules

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You can't know. You'll hate me if you did, or at best-- our relationship would never be the same.

I can't imagine anything you could do would make me hate you, Inaba-chan.

[Inaba he stanned actual murderers, you've got nothing on their rap sheets.]

. . . Can you really promise me that, though? If I told you- if I showed you- that you wouldn't hate me?

[ There's an implied 'that you wouldn't abandon me'? ]

...I promise.

[It's said with a certainty he reserves for few things in life. but the people he cares about-- that's one of them.]

[ She's quiet for a good, long moment.

A part of her is terrified. So she pulls away from him, places her hands on his shoulders and takes a deep breath. He'll be able to tell that she's nervous, that her fingers are trembling.

Maybe she just doesn't want to break that certainty that he holds in his voice, how she could just shatter everything in a single second. So she doesn't say anything more. Words aren't enough to convey this. Not when she's such a wreck of a person.

So she leans in quick - perhaps much of his surprise - and presses her lips against his own. ]

[He can tell she's nervous, so much so that he's wondering what she's so certain he'll hate her for that this seems to be causing her so much anxiety. She had to know he didn't hate people easily. Not unless they'd actually done something wrong, something cruel and hurtful.

And then she's kissing him, and any thought processes he has are grinding to a halt.

He's leaning into it, at first. He even reaches up, fingers hesitantly stroking her hair as he lets his eyes fall shut for a brief moment, slanting his lips against hers. He's still not that good at kissing, but he...

...But he shouldn't be doing this.

...And after a few seconds of response it suddenly stops, and Atsushi is pulling away, expression torn.]

[ For a flicker of a second, there's hope in the pit of her stomach when he leans into it. Even if he isn't exactly experienced, that doesn't change how happy she feels.

But then he pulls away.

He sees that expression on his face and she immediately frowns. ]

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. See? [ And then her expression shifts into a smile that doesn't reach her eyes and there's obvious tears running down the side of her face as her words manage to come out, watery. Choked out. ] I'm. . . a monster, Atsushi. That's why I shouldn't have done anything.

No! No, you're not a monster. You're not a monster at all.

[It's rushed, sincere but urgent. He needs her to understand, he needs--

She's crying, and there's ice in his gut because he hates that he's done this to her. He reaches up, cupping one of her cheeks with his hand, because she's crying and he can't do anything to soothe it.]

Inaba-chan, I think... I think I might like you too... at least I think so... I haven't ever had to think about stuff like this before. [Because people?? Being attracted to him? So maybe he had had a crush on Dazai back in his world, but the fact was Dazai would never have felt that way about him. No one did.]

But as much as I want to... I can't. Not unless I talk to him.

You're just saying that.

[ He's being kind again.

Her heart is twisting because of this because she's just reminded of so many things from back in the Hotel and she hates it and she wants to run away and she shouldn't have. She really, really shouldn't have--

That's why she had locked away her feelings.

That's why she wanted him to be with someone else, so that way she doesn't have to deal with this.

It's so much easier that way. ]

You're just saying that, you can't like me, you don't know-- you don't know just how disgusting of a person I am. . .

[ She hugs herself, mostly so that she can throw up the barriers up once again. ]

I'm selfish, I don't- I just-

... Why?

I'm not just saying that. I would never lie to you about that, I swear.

[He reaches over, and just...

Wraps his arms around her. He doesn't know if it's welcome or not, but the way she was holding herself was heartbreaking right now.]

There's nothing disgusting about you. You're smart, and kind, and maybe you do have flaws, but they aren't bad ones in my eyes. I-I can't judge you for wanting people to like you or being lonely, or any of those things you seem to think are so bad... because I'm like that in a lot of ways, too. I'm scared of being abandoned by others.

[Always. He doesn't want the people he cares about torn away from him, not when only recently in his life has anyone cared. He still didn't feel like he deserved care and affection or anyone's regard, but he was selfish. So very, very selfish to want it anyway.]

But because of that, I need to talk to him first. Because I don't... I don't want to make a mistake, and ruin something so precious to the both of you, and have you hate me.

[ She wants to push him away.

At this point, she considers herself as unwanted trash that doesn't actually deserve any of it. But in the end, she doesn't. She doesn't and finds herself almost melting into that touch and it's because of that alone that disgust for herself comes back at full force. ]

. . . I'm not any of those things.

[ Her answer is quiet and the tears just continue because she knows just how kind he is. How kind they both are. And how her heart twists because she just wants to selfishly be with him because she's so desperate and lonely.

And he's right, in a lot of ways.

That maybe if she did this, in front of so many cameras where people can actually see them, she could ruin everything in a heartbeat. Maybe she already has. ]

I would never hate you, Atsushi.

[ She can't bring herself to. ]

Never.

[Atsushi wishes he had something to say to help her understand, to make her realize how important she was to him. It's hard though, when he feels lke he might be an interloper--again, why was he like this? Why did he do this to people?-- butting into something he has no right to even consider thoughts about.]

Inaba-chan, I'm not lying. Everything I'm saying, I believe... No, I know is true. And I know he knows that, too. He loves you for a reason, you know.

[He hugs her a little tight, just a tad desperate to help her understand.]

I care about you a lot. That hasn't changed at all. I want to spend time with you and laugh with you, and I even like it when I get teased by you sometimes. But that's all the more reason I need to do this right.

[ She knows he's not lying.

He wasn't ever good at it, and it's probably because of that which makes her heart twist all the more.

That's why she feels like she's such a monster, for feeling this way. She wants to run, but her entire body is just slack in his arms, unable to move away from it. Because while guilt courses through her body she just can't bring herself to pull away. ]

You. . . still. . . don't say things like that. You can't just say things like that. Not when you still don't know so much about me.

Do I have to know everything about you to care about you? I don't think so.

[He certainly didn't know everything about the people he cared most about back in his world, and that was fine. He didn't need to, to know they were important to him.]

You've been kind to me since day one here. You're fun to spend time with, you're helpful and supportive, and you've made my time in this house so much better. None of that's a lie. Why can't I care about you?

That's-

[ He's not wrong.

But she's paranoid. ]

You haven't. . . seen the real me, though.

[ And she's afraid that if he does, if anybody does, they'll just stop caring altogether. ]

That's fine. I can wait until you're ready to show me, bit by bit.

[He offers her a small smile.]

But the Inaba I've spent time with all these weeks... I like her. And I'd like to get to know her more, as much as you're willing to let me.

[He knows this has bitten him in the ass before, with Dazai. But this was... different. He'd never met Inaba before this place, not any version of her. He only knew this Inaba.]

I--

[ She starts for a second and then sighs, swapping to Japanese as she speaks. Her voice is cracking. ]

I want to show you.

But I'm scared.

I told you before, didn't I? I can't imagine there's anything you could do to make me hate you.

[He responds in Japanese as well, his smile understanding.]

But I can wait, until you're ready to share.

[ She sighs a little dramatically. ]

You're so kind to me, Atsushi.

I never feel like I deserve it, but you're really kind to me.

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Week 3 Mingle

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