A New Friend (?)

[foundationnpcs]

[It is well into the evening on Sunday by the time a strange message pops up on everyone's tablets. It's from an unknown sender, with only a little skull icon to identify himself by.

And this new person has quite a bit to say.]

Well I'm not really sure what the fuck just happened, but that dog bastard is gone so I'm going to assume it went well. Good job, it only took you three weeks to finally make some progress here.

Not that I'm blaming most of you for the complete failures of the previous weeks, all the adults who are supposed to be wrangling the rest of you are too busy wrangling each other's dicks. I expected the love-dodecagon smoochfest from the teenagers, but I expected better of the rest of you. Seriously, priorities? Have you heard of them before?

Anyway, I'm sure you have questions, and I'm in a good mood tonight since you finally got something done. So ask away. I'll be around, until you get too annoying.


[All threads in this post are public and can be seen by anyone.]

Comments

/shitpost

[foundationnpcs]

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

[resortghosts]

Oh my god, you fucking Otaku

[theycallhimmrpchan]

I can't believe I'm saying this: I want to shove him in a locker

[resortghosts]

please do

[theycallhimmrpchan]

Just find me a locker and I will.

[resortghosts]

Hey, guess what?

The year 2010 called and they want their eight year old outdated memes back.

[foundationnpcs]

I have my Master's in Dank Memes, do not question me.

[resortghosts]

Wow!

No wonder you're going to be forever alone, because that's the only goddamn thing you're useful for.

[foundationnpcs]

Better alone than a fucking furry.

[whirlingmace]

A fucking furry?

[theycallhimmrpchan]

What's a furry?

[moonlightbeast]

[Can he just die already?]

[whirlingmace]

Well
It's Inalin
You think it has to do with Atsushi?

[theycallhimmrpchan]

So... Atsushi is a furry?

[whirlingmace]

When he turns into a big cat!
He has a lot of hair.
So maybe it's that?

A wonder why that's an insult though?
Wouldn't it be really nice to snuggle up to a big big kitty?

[theycallhimmrpchan]

I guess that makes sense?

[resortghosts]

. . . it's more like I'm the furry, if anything, and the answer is more "I'm into Atsushi because of his personality" rather than "I'm into him because he's a fucking tiger".

[moonlightbeast]

Inaba, please! You're not a furry, I'm not a tiger, and this really isn't relevant to anything right now!

[He wants to nope out of this entire conversation so hard, but. Correcting misunderstandings.]

[resortghosts]

I don't know, being a furry isn't that bad. Maybe you should try it sometime.

After all, your so called "son" is one, too.

[foundationnpcs]

Yeah I know.

So shameful.

Though at least he wasn't talking about petting him like a damn cat.

[resortghosts]

If you heard that, you can probably tell that he has very little shame left.

And honestly? I have little to any shits left to give, because you know what? You can't get me like that. Nice try, though. Do you need a gold star? I have plenty.

[foundationnpcs]

Yeah I saw him running around shirtless on Saturday.

No shame whatsoever.

And come on don't be like that.

I don't want to pull out the mean girls shit.

[resortghosts]

None at all.

Hell, I at least have some fucking human decency. And honestly? You kind of deserve it. Do you want to know why?

[whirlingmace]

[ Looks at this. ]

Okay! Yeah
It has to do with Atsushi!

[ MYSTERY SOLVED ]

[13thpromise]

[ .... really ... ]