From the white lights, the darkness comes...

[sageking]

Today's trial was a mixture of regret, anger, guilt, and second-thoughts. Perhaps some people realized that situations and choices weren't to be black or white. However, decisions were made, and whether it'd be through people keeping secrets or causing a ton of chaos...everyone could probably agree on one thing:

They've made their choices and no matter what happened in the coming days, they will lie in the beds they made for themselves. Whatever that should mean for each and every single person still living here.

That being said, there's still new choices to make. In the days to come, what will those be?

Comments

[finalring]

[ that is...definitely a story. romani watches dazai closely, eyebrows knit together in concern as he listens to the entire thing.

to think that someone would go to those lengths...that's even more than he imagined.

but it's the end that catches romani's attention, and he tilts his head just slightly. ]

Until you came here...? I'm sorry, what do you mean?

1/2

[cw_suicide]

This place... is like a personal hell.

I said as much to Gin-san when he commented on how lucky I was for not being affected by the miasma.

But, you know... Ango... and me. We haven't been close for the past four years. Because of what happened to Odasaku. But in here, we managed to... reconcile, a bit. Just in time for him to be killed like that. Because it was convenient for someone else's benefit.

[the bitterness and sorrow cut through as he says it. he's been trying to keep a lid on it but...]

And I've gotten close to Hitoka here. Marona-chan and Ky-kun and Nanaka-chan and Sissel, even Battler-kun... and the people who've already been lost, they've gone from taking my hand to wanting me to suffer by watching them all die. Again and again.

I never had faith in the Foundation. Not since day one. And every day, it's more like "ah, they just sent me here because I was inconvenient for them. If I die, it won't actually be a loss for them"--but saying as much when everyone is suffering from the miasma--

cw: kind deathwishy

[cw_suicide]

[he cuts off, as if remembering or reminding himself that Romani's also one of those affected. the energy in the negative spiral dies off, but it just leaves Dazai staring at the bodies with the vague despair that he's always carried with him to one extent or another.

smile crossing his face reflexively.]

But... I did promise Odasaku. When he died. That I'd try being on the side that saves. Because maybe that would be better than what I had before.

I don't know if it is or not.

But the thought of dying now, the kind of ghost I'd become--it worries me what it'll do to those people more than what it means for me. If anything, for me it would be such a relief.

I'm tired of losing people, too, sensei.