thefoundation | the truth is, everyone wishes to be saved.

[ He notices that, too. Why is he again having Wen Ning flashbacks. ]

Even tools can get hurt and break. They need their own maintenance and care to last.

[... you are speaking Greek.]

[ Leaning his head forward to bump his forehead against Dazai's head. ]

Maybe I should keep hugging you.

[ That's to himself more than to Dazai. How to care for someone broken?
???? he is out of depth. ]

Just are you keep reaching out to others, they are also reaching back for you.

[good question there, bud. Dazai sure wishes he knew the answer to it.]

... is that so?

I guess that is so... though I don't really understand it. It was made pretty clear today that I probably haven't been as useful as I thought.

[... wait. there's probably a better word for this "useful" concept but he seems too burnt out to really think of anything better.]

Like this. [gesturing at them.] Do you just like to dote? I don't know how someone would still have the energy for it...

I'm usually the one being doted on. I thought I'd give it a chance because there's someone I'm friends with that seems to need it more.

[ He's fond of you if that isn't clear, Dazai. ]

You're still very helpful. You raised interesting points in trial, and I know you help a certain few by still being there. I know that's hard for you to really grasp though.

As for my energy levels... sometimes you've seen hell enough times that all you can really do is keep moving.

[oh.

someone who definitely understands that.

can he look anymore bleaker? well...

definitely more pained.]

... she didn't want to die. She told me. Thursday evening.

[Nothing Is Beautiful And Everything Hurts]

Yeah, I had a feeling she really wanted to live. That's why I didn't even think about voting for her.

[ She was young, had a lot to look forward to, and seemed to be full of life before the miasma slammed into her ]

Is that how it'll go now?

People who have those those are suddenly the ones people will view as expendable?

[ha. he should have been top of the list then.]

[ Pausing at that. ]

If that's true, then they would need to vote themselves at some point.

I will admit I am worried about them turning their sights on you next.

[ They seem to be taking Zabuza's suggestion despite Dazai's abilities no longer working for the miasma ]

[oh. good. then he's not just completely paranoid.]

... if something does happen...

I'll look after them both.

[ Giving him a squeeze. ]

Hopefully, it doesn't come that though. I am rather fond of you.

... it's not even that I have a deathwish, necessarily. I guess that's how it plays out but... I really don't... want the suffering involved.

It's a bit stupid. A person who keeps waiting for it all to end, who's definitely made other people suffer needlessly, and there's no painless way out-- [he kind of lifts his hands as if to show off the scarring on his arms but they're covered so like] I couldn't even really hold it against them? An idiot like this doesn't really have a use.

But... I'd be really spiteful about the people they'd hurt with it.

[reasons he would probably be a horrific ghosts actually have zero to do with however bad his death is and more to do with how bad people around him are hurt, lol. ya boi has nothing in him.]

[ He would be on hell of a spiteful ghost. ]

If it comes to that, I do have a few tricks up my sleeve to keep any ghosts away.

[ He has been holding his own abilities close to his chest.

Lifting a hand to walk his fingers down Dazai's arm before circling his fingers around his wrist. Pressing the pad of his thumb against the inside of his wrist to brush the skin there lightly. ]

Besides, it's not really stupid and you still have your own ways you can help.

[ The word is help. Not useful ]

[words are hard?]

... I thought I could help in the trials, but it seems that's not the case anymore. And in the investigations--I disabled a trap but all anyone could focus on was the fact that I got caught by the second. Maybe that's the right way to do it? It's the failures that matter more since that's what costs lives, isn't that right?

[ah, no, he knows that's not quite right--or at least, it wasn't always but it's hard not to slip back into that mentality. being pressed for logical arguments, being questioned on his reasoning for glossing over details... the Agency never really pressed him like that, so it all slides backwards.]

Even my ability can't help with the miasma, or the ghosts from our group. I don't even know if it can help against what was here before we came anymore. I can't... save anyone...

I don't think anyone was focusing on the failure, but that they almost lost you.

[ Slipping his fingers under those bandages on his arms just to seek out some of those old scars. ]

I do think you did well to miss that first one. That was pretty clever to use a boot and it did give others something to consider when they explore. It wasn't a failure, but something like a learning experience. We now know what we have to consider.

[ He isn't sure if that'll help, but look... they did good even if they got hurt. ]

It's fine if you ability can't help out with the ghosts. You can help out in other ways. Advise others on how to check for traps or just staying near those who do value you is help on it's own. [ Hm ] I know that's also kind of hard for you to wrap your head around and I can't really talk for anyone else. You do actually help me.

[... right. traps, traps he can do. he is actually quite good at traps?

but in fact, the scar-touching and then the last statement do have his brow furrowing a bit because not wrong. he can't really wrap his head around it ~~just another failing of his nbd~~]

How so? You're the one doing all the work here?

[at least with him. even he knows that.]

I can be a little shameless around you and not care about anything like reputations or names or any of that. I feel like even if I laid everything out for you, it wouldn't really change much in how we act around each other.

[ With their jokes, pointless chatter, or even touching on the ways they may be a bit broken. Also look, he has you in his lap and sometimes it's nice just having someone you can be affectionate with without the expectations. ]

It's been something of a relief having you around. Which is entirely selfish I know. I suppose though I should at least give you that before the dead share it first. Then it could be more true about being myself.

[ Yuri has surprisingly spared him of deet dropping. ]

[Yuri has been a good ghost, retraumatizing-showing of her continuous suffering aside.]

... you're probably right that it won't change much.

[ Yuri is living her best... unlife ]

You already know enough bits and pieces, and you're still here. [ Who knows though, maybe accidental body jacking is the line though. ]

I'm not actually Mo Xuanyu. My courtesy name is Wei Wuxian. My real name is Wei Ying.

[... time to think if he's supposed to recognize these names or not...]

--why Mo Xuanyu, then?

Those, ah, rumors?

That's the name of the formal occupant of this body. I was woken up from a long nap thanks to Mo Xuanyu performing a forbidden ritual. Basically he gave up his own life and forced me into his body.

And yeah, those rumors. I made a lot of enemies in my life.

[this long stare as he processes that.]

... just what sort of thing was this guy after if he went that far with it?

[free hand is reaching up to pull at WWX's cheek.]

[ Making a face at the cheek pull. ]

You do know I can feel that, right?

[ It's his body now ]

He wanted revenge. It's a pretty nasty ritual, I don't even know where he even came across it. I had these gashes in my arms when I woke up and they would slowly get bigger and bigger until they ripped apart the body and my soul completely.

[ Says the guy who wrote down the original ritual and theorized it could actually work. ]

He wanted me to kill the remainder of the Mo family as well as one of their servants because they made his life unbearable.

[........... uhhhhhhhhhh.

letting go of his cheek, then.]

Well. That's one way to go about it.

It's not the sort of, ah, magic. That I can undo, at least.

Actually, it's a wonder you even got so touchy early on with that in mind.

[wwx wat.]

Edited 2020-05-03 19:11 (UTC)

It's how the ritual works. The body is basically is mine now like my old body was. So anything like something that can kick out souls from possession or techniques that would nullify it won't really work.

Though I do wonder if your nullification can stop Cultivation or my brand of it.

[ He is thinking it over carefully for a moment, the nerd gears turning in his head. Also he seems to know a lot about the inner workings of the ritual. ]

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cw: suicide lol

just keeping suicide label just in case

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