the truth is, everyone wishes to be saved.

[finalring]

The execution has come and passed with the death of two more Agents. However time moves on without cease and so must the living. There are no celebrations, only the silence that grows heavier and heavier with every day and the feeling that something is pleased with what it has done.

There are two more days before the new week arrives: what will you do?

Comments

[onemolife]

[ That was part of the reasoning for arguing against voting for Dazai at the trial. Would he be able to negate the holy magic keeping some people from getting infected? Would he negate abilities that lets people talk in meetings without ghosts listening?

The other part is he's biased and Dazai is someone he's fond of. ]

At the least I might be able to control you in that state. The only risks there is that you would also eventually grow immune to it and I may get a larger dose of infection.

[cw_suicide]

Don't make light of the infection.

[there's no bite to his words, they're actually pretty flat. but also... he just thinks about how Rin was that evening, blue eyes going violet and filled with tears she refused to cry until he admitted he didn't have any himself.]

... there's also the chance that once I'm dead, my ability won't be a factor anymore. It's a less terrible scenario but your capabilities would be of more use there.

[onemolife]

Don't worry, I'm not. It's not the first time I've come across something similar.

[ Miasma and Resentful Energy does have similar strokes to it. He's already took too much of it in the past. ]

Whatever happens, you can count on me to help out in whatever way I can. Even if you don't have room in your heart to have any more faith in the future or being able to hold on to someone more... I don't mind making room in my own heart to do that.

[cw_suicide]

[... can he just press his face into a shoulder instead of words?]

[onemolife]

[ Yeah, he can do that. ]

[cw_suicide]

... so should I still be calling you Mo-kun?

[onemolife]

It's up to you if you want to call me Wei-kun.

[ Time to confuse Saphir even more ]

[cw_suicide]

Wei-kun~~~

[onemolife]

Hmmm?

[ He will look over his own shoulder before just scooting back, taking Dazai back with him. ]

Are you testing it out?

[cw_suicide]

Different mouth-sounds take practice.

Though my brain's too worn out to do much more. People dying was bad enough but now people demanding detailed, logical responses on the fly...

[brain power: low]

[onemolife]

[ Loooooow battery ]

You know, you can take a break from talking logic for a bit. Go ahead and talk nonsense or whatever comes to mind.

[ Don't think. Reclining against the pillow and taking the other with him. ]

[cw_suicide]

[he remains malleable and slightly positionable.

he's given permission to talk nonsense and what does he do?

mutter:]

It's been like four years since I last had to "show my work"--and even if I showed my work, it still led to the same conclusion so what was even the point of it except to dig at me? And in such a stressful time? What should I be doing about that? No, better yet--if they have so much time to be so critical, why weren't they the ones stepping up to make the accusation? Was everyone just waiting for him to lose it?

[mutter mutter mutter mutter wow he bitter]

[onemolife]

[ We'll he'll that the muttering. ]

I'm pretty sure because a number of them didn't want to actually accuse him.

[ Considering all the ones who were actually thinking of letting him walk to see what will happen. ]

What do you mean by show your work though?

[cw_suicide]

Mori-san would always have me do it. Because, if I didn't lay out a reasonable, logical argument, then I wasn't thinking in the best interests of the Port Mafia. Since I was his right hand man--Executive, protege, whatever people thought of it, I don't really like to think about it--that sort of thing was always there. "A boss is both a leader and a slave to the organization" and that sort of thing...

[onemolife]

[ Ah. ]

That sounds like a lot of pressure. Was he expecting you to take over?

[cw_suicide]

He drove me out because he thought I was going to take him out the same way he did the previous boss--which I played witness to.

I was hanging around with a former assassin and a government worker in a bar after work. I was undermining his authority by looking the other way when someone wasn't eliminating subordinates who were stealing product. My partner at the time was insanely destructive and only I had the ability to stop his.

[friends. bored of stupid deaths. didn't actually want to be tied down in something he was assigned to...]

... the former assassin was my friend. Mori-san set up a scenario so he'd not only eliminate him, but also gain a certificate so the government would acknowledge the Port Mafia as a legitimate place for special ability users to find work at the same time.

How did he put it... "what's wrong with that?" Since it's weighing six lives versus hundreds--thousands, probably...

[onemolife]

[ His mind already jumps to Ango at the government worker. So this is the story of the friend who wanted Dazai to be a better person. This is their shared trauma. ]

Ah, so he was controlling and wanted a useful tool.

[ That actually explains quite a bit. ]

How long have you been working for Mori anyways?

[cw_suicide]

[time to look up at the bottom of the top bunk because, haha...]

I don't know about "controlling"... I basically got away with murder--literally.

But I went with him at the age of thirteen? [holding up fingers now because have to remember the order it went in.] Fourteen was when he killed the previous boss. Fifteen was when I got Chuuya as a partner. Sixteen was the promotion to Executive and also when I met Ango and Odasaku. Eighteen when it all went to hell...

[he stares at his fingers for a moment.]

Did anything even happen at seventeen?

[mystery.]

I had to lay low for two years and Ango effectively sealed my records... then I started work with the Agency at twenty... and I spoke with Mori-san for the first time since then about year or so ago...?

[onemolife]

[ Was it murder that helped his plan? ]

Chuuya is the one who is destructive.

[ That is more to himself to keep everything straight. Also that sure is a confirmation that it's Ango. ]

That must have been a meeting. So wait. What part about your history was complicated with Ango?

[ Sorry, he's nosy and didn't forget that conversation ]

[cw_suicide]

Ango should be the one to explain that one...

[onemolife]

[ There's a pause before he nods. ]

We touched on it once before. Nothing serious, but I did bring up you said your relationship is complicated. He said that was your trauma to share.

[ Why are you both yeeting it. ]

Maybe I should just drag you with me to ask him another time.

[ Then there's permission from both? Or something? ]

We'll worry about that another time though! Right now, I'm listening to you. So, trial made you feel like you had to prove your thought process and that you weren't being ruled by emotions?

[ Is that about it? ]

[cw_suicide]

[... how did you just summarize my feelings in like one sentence??? that is impossible????]

I guess?

[said kind of slowly because like. i mean. that's definitely part of it.]

[onemolife]

[ Sometimes he's good at this. ]

You guess? Was there more to it than that?

[ Besides you know the loss. ]

[cw_suicide]

... it seemed to come from nowhere?

[guess who missed what Zabuza said because he was too busy arguing with people. lol.]

[onemolife]

[ Oh. Oh. ]

Did you missed when Rosa asked Zabuza who he thought people should vote for instead? He named Rin, Seteth, and then you.

[ It was stupid ]