THE FINAL MINGLE

[foundationmods]

Monday comes.

There's no one here. The Silence is....though you don't remember any other monsters, deep down inside of you, you know this is wrong.

Everything is open to you, and no one will complain. You can do whatever you want, now.

....somehow, it feels...awful.

Somehow, you know everything will come to an end...this week.

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[improbablenotimpossible]

I know - it's not my will that did it, only my hands...

[He peers up, a hand reaching and covering his face.]

Though I feel as if you had gotten entangled in a fate that doesn't belong to you...

[le_mat]

Sherlock, my fate got derailed the day I woke up in the 6350. And sticking my nose in everyone else's is kinda my... thing.

[he closes his eyes, looking pained]

I'll admit though, for awhile I was... scared. Not during the day, when we talked. But at night when I couldn't see shit and just hear you breathing. I would just lay awake half the night, on edge. Everything with 8000 calling me out and then the STOP gave me new stuff to over think at night but... for awhile it was that. It still pops up sometimes when I'm not paying attention too.

... is it the same for you, too?

[improbablenotimpossible]

[He gives a quiet nod]

Sometimes my hands feel rough, rougher than it should be. I don't like it when I have nothing to steady my mind, to distract - boredom lets the things that I don't want to think about come in...

It's not just your death... there was another, I'm sure of - when the water roars, someone else had perished at my hands in the mist and darkness...

[le_mat]

[he can guess who it was too. With how attached the Professor is to Sherlock. There's history there that they can't remember]

Maybe you did. You know the phantom limb phenomenon, Right? Feeling things that aren't there? I feel that sometimes in my wrist, and my knee. Even though they weren't ever broken in "this" timeline. I think even if I forgot it would still happen. Or when it's dark and quiet I want to scream... that's the STOP, I think. It's ... horrifying. But I think I'd still want to feel that feeling.

They're scars on our hearts.

[he hovers his hand over his chest, where his SOUL would be if he exposed it]

And they're proof those things happened. That even if we forget, our bonds are real. It's proof we're, I'm alive.

That I'm real.

[The last words come out with a brutal tone, his eyes narrowed to slits with the intensity of his belief]

And as long as you feel that pain, then that person you were connected to can never be destroyed. So you gotta hold onto it no matter what...

Momento Mori- remember your death. That you'll die.

[improbablenotimpossible]

Pain is the acknowledgment of existence...

[His eyes searches up, towards the ceiling well above the darkness, breath ghosting slowly as he listens intensely]

Without it, what are we but shades?

[Slowly, his eyes closed, before he turns his head, looking at Ren, peridot-colored eyes almost luminous in the low light]

Scars are how the body heals....

[le_mat]

[he nods, affirming Sherlock's words]

As long as we are healing then we can make it through. Might not be the same but...