[CONTINUE] Week 1 || Act: mingle

[foundationmods]

Monday comes onto the snowy town once more, though it still looks as if it's 'night' as ever.

Then again, you are underground. That's just to be expected, considering no natural light can get down here in the first place. The Monsters around you are just as friendly as ever, despite this being your second 'time' trying this monday.

...Though....are there a few less Monsters here than there were before? ...Nah. You must be imagining it.

You still have a mission - and after the events of the last trial, you want to do your best to stop whatever is causing this.

But, hey. You really do have nothing but time now to figure it out.

FUN VALUE: 2
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Comments

[moonlightalter]

I did get that, yeah. I would say it was foreshadowed pretty well, not that it was predictable.

I also like that there was still tension between the two male leads, even when the story ended. It's not realistic for everyone to get along and be friends in the end, and it definitely fits with the themes you were going for.

[ugly_split_ends]

Hehehe. Yes. Allen was a hacker. His background with computer science and mechanical engineering would never let him accept an android as "human." I'm glad you picked up on the nuances. Of course, he's not entirely wrong, either. Making mature characters means no one can be completely wrong or right. If an author can't do that, they're treating the readers like they're idiots.

Anything else? Were you surprised it had a relatively 'feel-good' ending?

[moonlightalter]

I think it was 'feel-good' enough to make the ending satisfied. It had a good note, but it didn't shy away from the troubles the three would be facing. That feels like a good ending to me, especially given the themes of the story.

[ugly_split_ends]

[Nods.] If I was being absolutely true to the roots of the genre, there wouldn't have been a 'third option'... but then, the heroine would have no agency, and the readers would just curse the author for being stubborn and offering them nothing but depression. And they'd be right. In my mind though, they wouldn't succeed in ending the zaibatsu completely. Not ultimately. --But that's just between you and me.

[moonlightalter]

Don't worry, I'll keep that secret.

And I think it's still the right choice to make. Having everything happen around the main character without her being able to influence it would be unsatisfactory. So even if it goes a bit beyond what the genre usually offers, it's for a good reason.

[ugly_split_ends]

Hm. The reader is supposed to identify with her. So if they feel she can't do anything, they can't do anything... problematic.

[A short little pause.]

...Though, correct me if I'm wrong.

I know you're not the Atsushi Nakajima, but given your feedback, I get the idea you must do your own writing. Is that something you're interested in?