[CONTINUE] Week 1 || Act: mingle

[foundationmods]

Monday comes onto the snowy town once more, though it still looks as if it's 'night' as ever.

Then again, you are underground. That's just to be expected, considering no natural light can get down here in the first place. The Monsters around you are just as friendly as ever, despite this being your second 'time' trying this monday.

...Though....are there a few less Monsters here than there were before? ...Nah. You must be imagining it.

You still have a mission - and after the events of the last trial, you want to do your best to stop whatever is causing this.

But, hey. You really do have nothing but time now to figure it out.

FUN VALUE: 2
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Comments

[ugly_split_ends]

[She looks at him suspiciously] Really? Good... I wouldn't have forgiven you if you came to me saying "I didn't get time to read it!"

Come in. ...I take it you liked it, if you dog-eared it that much.

[She'll let him in her room, easy. It's messier now. Bits of manuscript affixed to walls and more clothes slung around haphazardly. ...It's kinda starting to smell.]

[moonlightalter]

[Fukawa plz, clean your room.]

I did! Even knowing how it turns out didn't deter me from reading it again and again, which means it's a really good story.

[ugly_split_ends]

Of course it's good. I wrote it.

[No false confidence, there. She'll take the pages back.]

So... more detailed? Did you identify with the main character?

[moonlightalter]

I definitely empathized with him and his situation. His situation was a tough one, and I can understand why he made the choices he did.

The only thing that made me question it was Francoise, she was so important to the story but didn't do much to help facilitate it. Maybe if George saw her and Albert talking at some point after the courtyard incident, to show how much Francoise and Albert loved each other? And that love could motivate George to marry Josephine instead of settling for Francoise.

[ugly_split_ends]

Hm... so you think it needed more foreshadowing. Never mind if I had a scene that outright showed Albert with Francoise, it'd make the eventual plot twist hardly a twist.

It's a trick of the perspective. First-person narrative is the easiest style to use for an author. --George is consumed with his own dilemma, he has no time to see Francoise and Albert having any relationship. He does not even see his brother as having his own desires, so the fact he does not realize the possibility he could have romantic inclinations is lost to him until it's confessed. He does not even realize Elizabeth is the type of harlot who would have sex with anyone; he has to have it waved in his face. Hehehehe... people are really blindsided by their own expectations. Francoise certainly had her own wants, and was satisfying them in ways George couldn't see. Did you think her speech about "becoming friends" was at face value? Maybe Francoise and Albert had even met, or were at least corresponding, before George ever saw her.

...Besides that, there's the audience. There's the expectation Josephine will win in stories like these.

[moonlightalter]

Ah, I hadn't considered that! I took her 'becoming friends' speech as genuine.

I was hoping Josephine would win in the end though. Love triumphs all makes for a good story.

[ugly_split_ends]

Mm. There's room for other such endings, but it's a short story. The 'confession' framing the final exposition to show how George had been manipulated was also a bit of a conceit, but I can justify it with the length.

It's good to get a male perspective. The audience is usually female. When writing the male point-of-view, I have to reach a balance of letting the male reader identify as the main character and 'believe' him, while the female reader can still find him attractive enough to project her desires on him. "Ah, I want to be romanced by a sensitive man like this, who picks up on my cues and would never cheat on me."

[She nods.]

[moonlightalter]

Of course! Getting several perspectives is important. And you're right, being romanced by someone like George would be nice.

[ugly_split_ends]

Hehehehe. Is that your personal sentiment, Boyfriend?

[moonlightalter]

It is, yes.

[Look. He likes being romanced, ok? Inaba can be plenty romantic too.]

[ugly_split_ends]

Yes, I heard from Inaka about your 'open' relationship. ...I've actually been pondering how that could work. Not realistically, but in terms of a plotline. A situation where people maturely talk about what they expect from a relationship, and that they're open to their partner having other partners and them all being involved, or not...

[she trails off, mumbling.]

[moonlightalter]

Ah...well...I don't know if 'open' is the right word? Because it's not like either of us just goes around kissing people. We talk about it first, to make sure the other is okay with it.

[He's overlooking that time with Shirou here, because that was before they were A Thing.]

And if I ever told her I wasn't okay with her kissing someone, she would respect that. And it's the same the other way around too.

[ugly_split_ends]

Right. See? That's fine and well in real life, but there's no tension or conflict or underlying hook! There's no "specter in the dark waiting to stab you." [A slight pause...]

Understand. I don't grab plot ideas from people around me or their personal lives. But I took the concept as a sort of an intellectual challenge.

...Well, I guess I could see some conflict with it.

[moonlightalter]

Aaah, no, I would say the tension in our lives comes from sources other than romantic.

[Like how he is literally a man-eating tiger sometimes and all.]

[ugly_split_ends]

It's all right. You can have your privacy.

[She turns her back on him to fish out another manuscript from her piles.]

Would you consider it emotionally cheating to read something with more erotic themes when you are in an intimate relationship...?

[moonlightalter]

No? I mean, it's a story. It's not like I would be the one doing anything erotic.

[Though talking about it makes him a bit embarrassed.]

[ugly_split_ends]

Just checking. Hehehehe.

[She turns her back to him, bending down to go through her notes.]

Which story should I give Boyfriend next...

[She eventually picks up a few more pages.]

This one. --I'll want it back by Thursday. I don't want to forget you exist and lose the story in the process, so make sure you return it by then.

[She offers a fresher stack of notes, held out with both hands. The title reads "The Eclipse of the Edge of Tomorrow."]