are we actually living? or are we being kept alive?

[finalring]

After the execution, the survivors are dismissed to rest in preparation for the next week. The miasma curls and turns into each room, letting fall a cold and oppressive atmosphere that fills every corner of the place.

And yet, even in a place that has caused so much grief, life must go on. Thirteen has always been considered to be an unlucky number, but that is the number of people that are left--what will you do, in this false calm?

Comments

[finalring]

I can't forget Subete even if I wanted to.

[ his the bullet wound on his shoulder won't let him. ]

Are you forgetting us?

[white_camellia]

Forgetting isn't quite the right word for it... There are so many people I had little impression of, and now they are dead. Should I have gotten to know them better? If I had known them better, could I have helped reduce the killing?

We were supposed to be a team, but I have failed at the fundamental basics of being as a team. I was wondering if perhaps remembering them would help me find some answers.

[finalring]

...Yeah. I think I understand what you're talking about.

[ he looks away from her, his expression guilty. ]

But I don't think that you are the only one feeling that way. I definitely feel that I have failed as well.

[white_camellia]

I imagine everyone does. Both Giovanni-san and Battler-san were important to people, after all.

...And yet, the thing that comes to mind for Giovanni-san is him feeding soup to a moose, and the fact that Battler-san's power stopped working well enough for him to actually make contact with me.

I wonder if Battler-san died because of me. Because I weakened his protections.

[...I mean yes, it wouldn't have stopped him from being shot, but at least he would have known it's not Date?]

[finalring]

No. It is absolutely not your fault, Nanaka.

[ he tries to say this with as much conviction as he can, but...he doesn't have much of that left. not after everything. ]

He was killed by someone that betrayed him-- you did not betray him. You only wanted to protect him.

[white_camellia]

[...And that's when the right hand takes the pen, sorry.]

I did betray him. I put my effort into finding the best way to use him to resolve the situation. From the start, I approached him with the intention of having him kill me in the worst case, knowing that doing such a thing would put him in danger.

Even without being a witch, I was a monster.

[finalring]

...

[ ouch. all of that actually strikes a couple chords in romani, although he doesn’t look particularly angry either. he feels guilty, mostly. ]

I forgive you, Nanaka. I don’t think that something like that makes you a monster... we all make mistakes. Everyone here has made multiple mistakes. But I don’t blame you for it...and I’m sure that Battler wouldn’t either.

[ unless the miasma takes him, that is... ]

[white_camellia]

Our sins cannot be absolved so easily.

[Okay, you know what? It's time for the left hand to grab the pen again.]

I suspect he will not blame me for it, but that will not change the fact that I acted too late. By the time I chose to open up... He was unwilling and unable to accept it. That is the truth. Would knowing that have changed things? Perhaps not, but it does mean that in the end, I was not someone who could help him.

[finalring]

[ he smiles sadly when the right hand starts writing, almost as if he could sympathize with its feelings, in a way. which is, understandable, when you, too, are full of guilt and regret.

he sighs. ]

I don't believe there was a right answer. Well, I suppose that "getting him out" or "never letting him come here" was the right answer, but that's out of our scope right now. So we could only choose from things that would cause the least amount of damage. If we allowed him to accept magical things, I've no doubt that the curse would have affected him as well. But because he didn't...maybe we inflicted the same kind of damage on him but in a different way.

[ ...

romani looks away, his gaze pained. ]

I just didn't want him to get hurt.

[white_camellia]

I know. I think it is the same for all of us.

[finalring]

Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place, huh?

[ he sighs, his expression regretful. ]

But I believe that is why we have to keep going. Even if they come back changed and try to hold us back, we can't give up yet. [ funny words, considering that, in his heart, he feels like he's ready to give up at any moment. he feels frail in comparison to all these people, far stronger than he ever was or will be.

but he wants to keep trying. for them. ] You'll help us, right?