are we actually living? or are we being kept alive?

[finalring]

After the execution, the survivors are dismissed to rest in preparation for the next week. The miasma curls and turns into each room, letting fall a cold and oppressive atmosphere that fills every corner of the place.

And yet, even in a place that has caused so much grief, life must go on. Thirteen has always been considered to be an unlucky number, but that is the number of people that are left--what will you do, in this false calm?

Comments

[onemolife]

You're still here. That's enough for me.

[ Just going to massage his scalp gently. ]

[cw_suicide]

[except that kind of answer just has the internal sinking sensation of someone who can't even see where the worth of that is. surely it would have been better to have Battler or even Giovanni over him? that only makes sense.]

... I don't really get how. Except they're being very consistent with the "you will live and suffer and die last" thing.

[onemolife]

[ Giving his hair a bit of a tug. ]

I've already told you for my own selfish reasons. [ A pause as he smooths out the hair again. ] If it comes to it, and if we wind up backed in a corner with no other way out, I can make sure you aren't the last...

[cw_suicide]

[........... unsure if that is actually the better solution but it does have him leaning on WWX a bit.]

The longer this goes on... the more I just feel worn away at. And I'm not even affected by anything...

[onemolife]

[ Curling an arm around him as he continues playing with his hair a bit. He isn't sure if it's the better solution, but... maybe if he can save Dazai from having to watch everyone else die first... ]

You are still affected. You are in this house after all and wind up on the end of some of people's paranoia here. You've also lost friends here.

[cw_suicide]

[reminder of dead friends after Battler and Giovanni... and then Hikage pulling that Ango-face on him and Ango's executing Date...]

... it's all a little... jumbled up.

[onemolife]

[ He's afraid Dazai is going to wind up in the place where he himself was during his final moments. ]

Remember what we said to Yachi? Do we need to pull it all out to get it unjumbled?

[cw_suicide]

[he goes still and quiet like he's just been threatened or something because oh no. no no no. he definitely can't do that.]

[onemolife]

[ If this was a better place, they could pull it all out safely, but they might not have another time. ]

Maybe it'll help if I share a bit first?

[ So it's not just Dazai being vulnerable. ]

My own losses and when I was at my lowest.

[cw_suicide]

[spoilers: you can't pull anything out safely with Dazai. he will fight the whole way you need a vacuum hose to jam into his chest]

... mm... maybe.

looong

[onemolife]

[ He's all out of vacuums, but he does have a flute and long fingers.

Which to pick... there's a lot of those he can share. ]

I only have one vague memory of my actual parents. They died on Night Hunt and I was left to fend for myself on the streets until Uncle Jiang found me. I even forgotten my name for a while until he said it. [ A pause there. ] I think I was about six at the time?

I was brought back to Lotus Pier and raised along side his two kids, my Shijie and Jiang Cheng. Those two and Uncle Jiang and Madam Yu were my family.

I should probably talk about how things were back then. Where I'm from, there were as many cultivation sects as there were stars in the sky. Cultivators would take care of what would be seen as supernatural today.

There were five large Cultivation Sects that influenced the other Sects and were seen as basically as guide posts to follow. You could think of them as the Government at the time. Including all of the corruption and self serving attitude that may come with it.

You might not believe this, but while I was popular with women and my peers, I was less popular with those in power. I tend to let my mouth run away at times or would best those who needed to be knock down a peg or two.

One of those people was something of a prince in one of the strongest and most corrupt Sects at the time. The Qishan Wen Sect had an army large enough that it could wipe out half the Cultivation word with an easily bruised ego twice that in size. They saw themselves as equivalent to the sun.

[ There's a pause... because Dazai can probably get where this is going ]

[cw_suicide]

[yyyyeeeah, he can see where it's going.]

Explains a few things...

((SPOILERS AND also sorry for teal deer))

[onemolife]

There was an archery competition hosted by them on their land. They fully expected to win, but their skills were dismal at best, and they left out their best archer, someone who could even give me a run for my money, on the side lines. They were all too stupid to see what he could do.

[ He does have some bias there. ]

Anyways, their second born "prince" was quite the sore loser. Pretty sure everyone around him made sure he was the winner within their own Sect, and built him up to unrealistic expectations. When they invited the other Sects to a competition, he failed tremendously and he took it very personally. They decided they were going to discipline the other Sects.

They lit one on fire and injured a great number of them. Then threatened the other Sects by force to bring not only the winners of the competition, but their top students to train them. It was all a farce to punish us as well as hold us hostage against the groups. We had to give up our swords and go on night hunts. Anything we brought down was credited to their prince, while we were put in grave danger again and again.

It was one of the times that we wound up fighting back and getting away. I suppose this would be the second time I've almost died.

We were sent into a cave of sorts to look for a great beast to fight for him to take credit for. It wound up being the Tortoise of Slaughter. A beast that have fed on countless of people for hundreds of years and was something of a Demigod. Something happened in the middle of searching for it where a girl's face was almost defaced, but we stood up for her. I took their prince hostage and commotion woke the beast up.

Those of the Wen Sect fled and blocked the rest of inside of the cave. To keep this story short, myself and Lan Zhan- someone who I once thought of as a friend, stayed behind to distract the beast. The others escaped through a hole behind him. Lan Zhan wound up killing the beast and I was bedridden for weeks afterwards.

While I was out for the count, the Qishan Wen Clan took that time to start burning down smaller Sects that wasn't useful to them and making a trap for the Sect I was a part of... the Yunmeng Jiang Sect.

Remind me to tell you all about the Lotus Pier next time. I could talk on and on about it's beauty and all the great memories I have there.

[ Which is why he wants to hold off before they get off the rails. Just going to pull Dazai closer against him though. ]

They struck after I was back on my feet and when Uncle Jiang left to pick up our swords from the clan. They first sent an envoy to demand that Madam Yu compensates for our little rebellion and insult by taking my arm. I was going to gladly pay it, but Madam Yu saw through the little ploy for what it was. They were planning on taking the Lotus Pier over to set it up as a post for their clan instead. They had an army waiting just outside.

Jiang Cheng and myself was sent away against our will. Uncle Jiang did make it back to try to help, but his help came a little too late. All of Lotus Pier was overtaken. By the time we made it back, Uncle Jiang and Madam Yu were both dead. As were many of our peers and friends.

[cw_suicide]

[on the one hand, it's clearly important to WWX to get this all out, so he listens quietly and intently.

on the other hand, that terrible feeling of knowing your shit is nowhere near as bad as this and yet someone with this kind of background is willing to tolerate you and your idle despair like it's something worth merit.]

... the Port Mafia had a campaign not too unlike that. They--we... crushed all of the smaller gangs that tried to stand in the way.

How miserable to be on the other side of it...

[onemolife]

[ Does he need to actually pap him. He's going to just rest his chin on Dazai's shoulder. ]

Aiya... don't even go there. [ Tapping his nose ] It was miserable, but my sworn brother and Shijie were still alive at the time, which was enough to keep me going. My focus was doing everything I could to keep them alive and to give them a reason to keep going.

I wound up screwing that all up eventually though, but that's getting a little ahead. Some time after the fall of Lotus Pier, I nearly died. Or maybe I did really die. I will confess that I don't really remember much of that time, but I was in a place where the miasma was so thick that it was suffocating. I was told I was missing for three months.

[cw_suicide]

[his nose scrunches but he does go quiet and listen.]

Mm... I'm guessing something happened in the interim?