the truth is, everyone wishes to be saved.

[finalring]

The execution has come and passed with the death of two more Agents. However time moves on without cease and so must the living. There are no celebrations, only the silence that grows heavier and heavier with every day and the feeling that something is pleased with what it has done.

There are two more days before the new week arrives: what will you do?

Comments

[golden_dream]

...

[She takes out her notepad and pen and, holding them at a weird angle flat across her body because she couldn't be bothered to even sit up, she wrote, before flipping it up to him:

"How are you holding up?"]

[accrowed]

[ That... is the last thing he expected. She looks like this and she's worrying about other people...?

He has to laugh, at least a little. Part of him wonders what Rin would've thought of this, too. ]

I'll manage. And what about you?

[golden_dream]

...

[She lets her head loll back, before scribbling a reply:

"Two votes. Two votes away from death."]

[accrowed]

Just two. [ His voice is plain, even. ]

He didn't have to tell us that—but he did it anyway. He must've known exactly how hard it'd be to hear.

[golden_dream]

[A looong sigh, before her reply comes written out and shown to him:

"I don't think I can afford to play the hard-ass bitch anymore.

Rin-chan wasn't supposed to die."]

[accrowed]

[ This time, he reads the message carefully and pauses before he answers. ]

I think we can both agree neither of us wanted to see her go. [ Well, he assumes. Honestly, from the start he was wondering if Rosa was trying, in her own strange way, to get to know Rin. Not that wondering that matters anymore. ] I've got a question though.

Why were you trying to "play the hard-ass bitch"?

[golden_dream]

...

[There's a long stare up at the ceiling of the bunk in front of her, and she actually raises the notepad up in front of her eyes so she can write more legibly:

"Because I thought it'd work. Because someone out there is the killer. If they mess up when they're on the defensive with someone in their face and putting pressure on them, and they have to explain their actions, the more likely they'll confess. We can't miss.

That and... deterrence. I can't let how Minamimoto threatened Battler happen again. If I had my gun out and loaded the first time... I could've done something.

That Zabuza... maybe it's what they call 'confirmation bias,' but talking to him and putting pressure on him... it made me more open to that he was the killer. His words didn't match up to what I knew.

...Anyway, that's why. Does that answer your question?"

She flips through the page to show him the response.]

[accrowed]

[ Again, Crow waits patiently for her to finish writing and reads it carefully when she finishes. ]

To protect you and yours... In a way, I think I understand where you're coming from. Maybe even more than you know. [ For a brief moment, he gives her a sympathetic look. Then, he closes his eyes. ]

So, yeah. It answers one of my questions. The next one is, why do you think that plan went wrong?

[golden_dream]

...

[Her anger wells up inside of her and she starts angrily writing:

"Because people are idiots. Morons. Fucking dumbasses. Don't they fucking know they're supposed to save the little girls? What kind of monster lets a girl like Rin just die? No, really??? I shouldn't have had to say any more than that! Everyone has horse manure instead of brains. And..."

...Her hand was getting tired.

This wasn't the right thing to say.

She took a deep breath, folded over that bit of paper, and wrote a new message:

"I honestly don't know. In so far as I couldn't save Rin. I just know it didn't work, and that's enough."]

[accrowed]

[ Just like before, he waits. When he hears her stop, fold the paper, and start a new message, he opens his eyes and watches her more closely. Once she's done and he reads it, he gives her another sympathetic smile and reaches to try and lightly pat her on the head.

That said, if he tries to pull away or reacts badly, he'll pull his hand back instead. Either way, he's gonna say this: ]

If that's the answer you've settled on, I won't ask you anything more. Besides, that might be enough hard questions for today.

[golden_dream]

[She does pull away. Patting her on the head from that angle was too much like he was going for her throat... but once she realizes what he's trying to do, she relaxes a bit.]

...

[She waits a moment, then writes more before showing the pad again:

"I want to hear your opinion."]

[accrowed]

Oh? You'll be disappointed, you know. [ Here, he pauses so he can start leaning against the bed. ] Here it is: I think the only person who can decide what you take away from this is you. Sure, I could tell you my opinion, maybe even tell you what I would've done differently. The problem is, then I'd just be telling you my way of doing things.

At the end of the day, that's not going to help you. You need to think about this yourself—and it's not going to take just a few minutes or a few days. Taking a good, honest look at yourself and considering how your words and actions affect others isn't easy, but sometimes it's a necessary step to understanding how something went wrong.

The only advice I can give you is this. Don't put all of the blame on others—but don't put it all on yourself, either. The world is a complicated place, and sometimes that means lines that shouldn't be blurred, are.

[golden_dream]

...

[He was right, she was disappointed. He was leading her to that? How the hell was she going to have time to re-evaluate how she interacted with others when she could die again next week...

It was stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid...

...

A soft sigh. Maybe... this was secretly good advice. What she'd done just wasn't working, so it had to be something.

She writes a new note, and turns it toward him:

"I'll keep that in mind."

...A pause so he could read it, then one more bit of writing:

"Incidentally... are you going out? Either today or tomorrow?"]

[accrowed]

[ The most disappointing and boring answer is always "soul searching," isn't it? He did skip the part where learning other's viewpoints and experiences helps broaden your perspective. But, hey, learning that is part of the journey.

Crow is, in fact, very not helpful so maybe that "stupid, stupid, stupid" is correct after all! ]

Yeah, I'll probably slip out sooner or later. Want me to pick something up for you?

[golden_dream]

[A little bit more writing later:

"Paper, always.

My nephew Battler probably thinks I'm some sort of vindictive monster who antagonized Rin for no reason and picked a fight with her.

That's not true. I did pick a fight with her, but it was so she'd be so mad at me, she'd vote for me instead of herself. Again: I thought it'd work. And I thought there'd be two culprits so it wouldn't matter. She had already decided she hated me... kind words wouldn't have cut it."

A pause as she reflected: it should've worked, but there was only one culprit and there were other people who were willing to scapegoat her, enough that one vote didn't matter.

"...If you see him, and he isn't crying his eyes out, can you please try to communicate that to him? If he's so distraught he can't think straight, then let him have his space. It'll just wear him out more or backfire on me.

If that's too much to ask, forget it. Or I'll write a note."]

[She flipped it over to show him. She really hoped he would just offer to do it. She was lazy and didn't want to, and she was reasonably sure he could pretty it up for her, if he was going to give her 'just take a good look at yourself' advice.]

[accrowed]

[ He never in his life thought he'd run into a request that even Rean "I'll-take-on-any-task-without-asking-for-a-single-mira" Schwarzer wouldn't take yet. Here he is. 'cause, honestly, Rean wouldn't touch this one. Not even to slap it away.

To be fair, it's a brazen ask. He'd say it's putting a lot of faith in him, too, but frankly the holes in that faith are so obvious they're visible from space. ]

Yeaaah, that's gonna be where I draw the line. It's all well and good that you wanna reach out to him, but if that's your message? You're gonna have to find a different errand boy.

[ A beat. ] Not that I suggest doing that, by the way. This should come from you, nobody else.

[golden_dream]

[She can't help sneering at that. She writes:

"You don't have to be cute. Just say you don't want to do it. ...But do get me paper, please. Maybe a pen too. Or even an inkwell. I don't care, just something..."]

[accrowed]

[ He laughs quietly, good-naturedly, before speaking again. ]

Paper it is. Since you've used up so much of it on me, I might as well go and fetch that for you now. [ A wave and he's walking toward the door! If she wants, she can still grab his attention by making a noise or something. ]