nobody's in the mood for recording 6.9: the post-trial garden tea "party"

[tsunderine]

The flowers that bloomed at the end of the trial are ones that only seem to prove, continuously, that the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Of course, it's only natural that many of the people are full of mixed emotions - grief? sadness? anger? frustration? maybe something else completely different?

But it's there, along with the end of the week.

Miasma still continues to be around, of course - but make use of the fact that this might be the last time it'll be at a low level one before it shoots up again.


Well.

Life continues as usual, disregarding any feelings that any of the house's occupants might be feeling.

So what are you doing these next two days?

Comments

[dreamshielder]

[He watches Hikage settle back with a small smile.]

You're more agreeable than the last person I took care of. I don't think he really wanted me to be there. Something about not wanting to look weak in front of others.

[kaliedoscopes]

I don't really disagree with him, I'd rather take care of myself. But I also know it would be easier if I just accepted the help and got better faster. [ Just a titch of minor grumbling. ]

To say nothing of the company. [ This is the closest he'll get to repeating himself on wanting Haku to be here. ]

[dreamshielder]

[It may not seem like much, but hearing it makes Haku smile in earnest. Not that he's ever been made to feel that his company was bad, but he's known for years that his presence alone has no inherent value to anyone at all. Feeling a little caught, he looks away but isn't able to stop smiling.]

... that's sweet of you.

[kaliedoscopes]

[ Haku's not the only one who's looking away. ]

I must have hit my head harder than I realized. [ Still, it's not a denial. ]

[dreamshielder]

[That is such an incredible level of tsun that Haku can't help laugh a little. It's not as bright as usual considering how long and exhausting the day really has been, but it's there. When it's over though, he doesn't know what to say.

He lapses into a short silence and then:]

Can I sit with you or would that foster a misunderstanding?

[kaliedoscopes]

[ The silence is appreciated honestly, and there was probably some residual grumbling from Hikage's bed anyway. It's a beat before he responds though, because he recognizes those words from earlier in the week but he's not about to call himself out. ]

You can sit with me.

[dreamshielder]

[It can more or less be assumed that there's an ongoing background track of grumbling around this boy, no? But in any case with that permission granted, Haku goes to sit on Hikage's bed, sitting about an arm's length away. Once settled like that, he lets out a bit of a sigh.]

You said you weren't reckless. What made you change your mind?

[The question's asked softly, so it doesn't sound like an accusation.]

[kaliedoscopes]

[ Yes, that is very true. He glances over once Haku is settled, looking fine with this new seating arrangement. The question though, he can't help but sigh at. ]

I didn't view it as a reckless action, though it turned into one. But I misjudged the situation and that fault lies with me and no one else. As much as being able to read memories is "cheating", it's far from exact. There was also the possibility that no one would believe me, especially considering how protective some were of her.

But if you're asking why I volunteered, it's because using Sakaguchi's ability would have made him relive the entirety of Jack's death, while with mine I would have just witnessed the murder. One is a heavier price to pay than the other, so it only made sense that I use my ability first.

[dreamshielder]

So you decided to add yourself to the list of targets for any future killers just to save one person from experiencing someone else's death,

[That's not surprising. Hikage's made his intentions about saving people known from day one. Facts that haven't changed shouldn't really be reason for more concern.]

The vessel decided it was cheating so there shouldn't be any other problems besides the one you're currently dealing with, but....

[But. Where is he even going with this....]

[kaliedoscopes]

You can call it saving, but I was just trying to effectively utilize our resources. [ As tends to happen Haku is right, but Hikage doesn't really want to admit. ]

But?

[dreamshielder]

[Haku takes a deep breath. It was probably meant to be calming, but his fingers dig a little into the blanket.]

Do you have to be a fool?

[kaliedoscopes]

[ Oh. Yeah that's- he starts with a glare, his voice raised. ]

What about that makes me a fool? It was a risk and one I was willing to take, one that was merited because if Sakaguchi would have suffered any repercussions he had no defenses, and I did. Moreover, his well-being is tied to at least one other agents well-being, one of whom is a nullifier and vital to our operations.

[ This is a really weird of saying that people (or at least Dazai) would lose their shit if Ango was injured or worse, which isn't the case for Hikage personally. At least he thinks so, anyway. ]

[dreamshielder]

[There isn't an immediate response to this, even if Haku doesn't quite stop glaring either. He'd told Hikage once that he sounds like a ninja, and this response just now is only cementing that into place. Not for the first time this conversation, Haku feels caught though in a different sense. Now he's not sure if he's angry at Hikage or angry at himself.]

So that's how it is.

[And maybe that's how it's supposed to be.]

Is that what happens when you lose all memories of your important people? You just assume you can't be important to anyone at all?

[kaliedoscopes]

[ He doesn't need to think on the answer any, it's as plain as day. ]

It's a reasonable assumption to make.

[dreamshielder]

[....]

You're an idiot.

[kaliedoscopes]

You've said as much already, but I fail to see your point.

[ someone plz help him. ]

[dreamshielder]

I don't really have a good one.

[This time his voice is a lot softer when he speaks.]

Just that this place would be worse without you.

comes back to this now that its infinitely ruder

[kaliedoscopes]

[ He freezes which is far from the first time this has happened with Haku, and fitting considering. This time when he recovers he reaches up to toy with his hair and looks to the side. ]

You don't...you're saying things that could be easily misunderstood again.

[ Quietly, so only the two of them can hear. ] But thanks.

wow excuse you

[dreamshielder]

[The silence doesn't last long, though it's long enough for Haku to wonder if he's said too much. He keeps his eyes on his knees, and doesn't look over even when Hikage speaks.]

It's the truth.

[Yes. Let's just pretend this is fact rather than something incredibly subjective.]

[kaliedoscopes]

If that's what you say. [ Begrudging acceptance(?) will have to do, but if it helps he doesn't sound anymore gruff than the usual. ]

[dreamshielder]

[it's not an argument and that's already more than Haku was expecting. It's a relief. He knows perfectly well that feelings are utterly irrelevant after all.]

Someone told me when this is over, I should go to the circus with a friend. I don't know if it was a well intentioned suggestion, but I've never been to one.

[kaliedoscopes]

A circus? It's not the worst idea, but why a circus of all places? [ He is more than happy to steer to another topic, if that's what this is. ]

[dreamshielder]

.... honestly, I'm not sure.It was Gilgamesh's suggestion.

[And yep, now he's definitely feeling foolish.]

Never mind.

[kaliedoscopes]

[ .... ]

No, go on. I only know what I've read about them in children's books, so I might have spoken too soon.

[dreamshielder]

[He's a little reluctant to speak, visibly now as well as he bites the inside of his lip.]

I'd only heard of them while passing through other countries back home. [Other wealthier nations that aren't nearly as impoverished as Kirigakure.] But that isn't the point.