thefoundation | Opinions without 3.1415 are just Onions (Week1 post trial)

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round 5

Opinions without 3.1415 are just Onions (Week1 post trial)

After everything, the house seems almost too still and too mundane. At least as long as the doors to that room remain closed. One by one those covered in what was once their teammate are lead to the showers or change in silence. There is no warm meal waiting for them. No words of encouragement.

Life goes on, regardless.

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... what I've done... isn't the part that hurts me.

[it's what he didn't do.]

Even with such a high position, access to all the information I could need to see through the design... I couldn't even save a... very dear... close friend of mine.

[this place is terrible and he's having flashbacks nonstop about it even without the miasma.]

[That glistening of wetness in the corners of her eyes is spilling over now, tears running down her cheeks.]

Don't...

Don't blame yourself for not being able to save someone.

Shouldn't I?

I was very frivolous. I would talk about my friend to my subordinates, warn them against upsetting him, and maybe I said something to the Boss or someone told him...?

Ah, but then, I also would overlook things like a lead of a unit not taking care of underlings who'd take product--undermined the Boss's authority, wasn't that so?

It's no wonder the Boss would think I was gunning for him. Doing things like that and meeting with someone I'd say was capable at a bar after work. It's so obvious now that that's how it looked, isn't it?

[he's speaking with a clear enough voice, not seeming able to put on the breaks after he starts because no, she's wrong she doesn't understand how it went

the real tragedy is that he had just been a brat. who didn't want people killed over drugs missing and just wanted time with friends separate from his mafia life and just didn't register how bad it looked until he was standing in Mori's office, begging for him to save Odasaku.]

It'll be the same here, won't it? If I let on or people see too much--ah, but it's probably... already a bit late for that...

[She didn't want to, but she is, she's reaching out to grab him, one hand going to his shoulder like her touch will help him understand.]

That--

You've been hurt so much, I'm so sorry.

[HOW IS SHE STILL GETTING THAT FROM WHAT HE SAID? is the internal scream right now. he doesn't pull away from the grab and of course grabbing hold of him means powers are getting blipped off, but he does stiffen, kind of freeze. a little deer in headlight.]

... no, that's...

[except words failing him. this is the same guy who had everyone laughing and yelling at him for being a playboy, somehow.]

Edited 2020-04-19 20:46 (UTC)

I know you think I'm wrong, but you were so hurt, and you've hidden that from everyone, and it must have been so hard for you.

[he screem so much internally.]

It's... not something... to share in a situation where... someone might...

[use it against him.

oh no.

what is he doing here? this is very foolish. surely this is just going to backfire?! she can probably feel the tension where she's grabbed hold. even now, he's not really focusing on himself because... well, honestly... he. doesn't know how to.]

[She feels him go tense, and relaxes her grip but doesn't drop her hand. She's still here, Dazai.]

I know that it's hard to share something like this. [The tears are still coming, and she's not wiping them away.]

Thank you so much for sharing it with me.

[... is it really something to thank him for? it just feels like he's selfishly doing something putting this on someone else.

either way, he hesitates, seems to come back to himself a bit, and reaches up a hand to the tears coming down her cheeks.]

Really... you should be saving these...

[he's really not someone people should cry over?]

I have a lot more where those came from. [She says, with a watery sort of smile.]

And you... you've been through so much, why wouldn't I cry? Why wouldn't anyone cry, hearing about that?

Probably... because enough people know I still do a lot of unsavory and unnecessary things. "Ah, of course he's no good. Just look at where he's come from," or something like that?

Admittedly, I've also never really explained. People will just assume as they want and they're not always wrong to do so.

[this is the smile that fits so nicely on his face, you know he's been in so much practice with it--for how long? covering what? people don't tend to ask.]

Edited 2020-04-19 21:58 (UTC)

.... people will say whatever they want, but that doesn't mean you have to accept that. It doesn't mean you deserve it. [She sees that smile, and she doesn't want to.]

[haaa... what he deserves...]

Right before that machine brought me into the Foundation, I was being arrested. The evidence of my crimes hidden away for four years resurfaced.

... the timing is just really appropriate, I think. So... even if I were to die in this place...

[hahaha his rap sheet is so lengthy.]

... can I hug you?

[... no one just asks this, wtf.]

I... if you'd like?

[idgi]

[She basically tackles him.]

Don't die.

[has to put his arms around her or risk stumbling back a bit. he's stiff for a moment but then he leans into the hold a bit, a small, bitter laugh coming up.]

I would make a very frightful ghost.

I'll exorcise you. [she mutters, and then.]

Thank you for telling me. [She says, again.]

I'm glad you told me now, instead of waiting for it to come out unexpectedly.

[man. that first thing is definitely something he knows probably won't work out but also what a promise to make. he tightens his hold on her a bit.]

You did bring up the subject, somewhat... but I'm also... wanting to head off as much as I can with it.

[She keeps her hold on him.]

That's what we need. We need everyone to try and head off these sort of revelations, and it's going to be difficult emotionally for everyone.

Don't figure yourself out of that, also.

[gentle reminder because... well, it feels lopsided and also he's? worried? about this soft person...]

[She laughs, a little.]

I've never been any good at hiding my emotions, and I don't have any secrets. But if you ever have anything you think I should tell you, just ask.

[... probably a good thing he has a hold of her because he is now giving her a small shake.]

What kind of fair trade is this?! If you have a history of being in the mafia, that would be boring. Anything else would be different, and different...

[well. he's been finding he likes different the past 4 years, so. pls. you silly girl.]

I can't believe this immediate rejection!

[now he's just being a dramatic baby]

Edited 2020-04-20 03:14 (UTC)

[She laughs, a little, after he shakes her and starts whining.]

"Ask me anything and I'll tell you" isn't rejection.

There's nothing in my past that would hurt if it were revealed, or that would hurt others if they discovered it. [But if he wants to hear about her uneventful upbringing, she can do that. She lets go of him slowly, because the moment for hugs has passed, but she isn't going to pull away entirely until he gives her a sign that he's ready for that.]

When I was a baby, Oku found me abandoned in a junkyard. He, Obaba, and Niko raised me until they died in a fire when I was six. After that, I got scooped up by Asylum, an orphanage that takes in children who can see demons and trains them to be exorcists. I went through training until I graduated, and now I work at the demon farm as a Tamer, as well as teaching exorcism classes.

[when you are expecting the lady to move away when she's ready, so you just kind of keep in the same position but this time staring down at her with an absolutely miserable expression like he just actually felt his heart break realizing that she really does think a tragic background like that isn't anything special.

the worst of it: she's saying this to someone who willingly went into his own terrible situations.]

... Yuri-san... if it's all right... can I borrow some of your tears?

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