thefoundation | Week 5

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round 4

Week 5

With the Studio in shambles, it seems odd that the game would continue on. You would think that forces from site 4 would drop in and extract people, right? But no, not a peep is heard from them. The game continues on as it has for all the previous weeks, and there is no sign of it stopping.

The weather certainly matches the mood, though. By Monday morning, a light rain will start to fall, making the area damp and gloomy. People can go outside if they so wish, but they might want to don some raincoats and rain boots.

With power off at the studio, it is safe to assume that no cameras are on there. But what about the rest of the house? Will surveillance continue there? And what is everyone going to do about this balancing act of 'survive' and 'convince everyone you should be allowed to live'? How long will it be before everyone cracks from the pressure?

Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursdsay

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I can't say that it'll be okay, Saki, but. . .

[ they can certainly try? ]

The House sure is a lot emptier now, huh.

[ it honestly is a little lonely. ]

[It takes a bit, for her to gather herself again even a little. But there's a nod, almost frantic, because she just can't hold it in anymore.

When she finally does get words out, it's stammered through tears and hiccups that seem to shake her whole body.]

I can't- I don't--

I don't want to lose everyone again.

[ if she'll allow it, Saki will get herself wrapped up in a hug. because she desperately needs it, more than anyone else right now.

she doesn't know if her words are going to be enough.

but she sure as hell is going to try, keeping her words earnest. determined.

there's a rekindled strength in there. ]

You're not going to, Saki.

I'll help make sure of it. We're going to make it out of this. And...

[ she hesitates.

does she have the right to say this? can she even say it, when the future is so uncertain? ]

...I know I haven't been good at it, these last couple of weeks. And I don't want to make any empty promises.

But you're not going to lose me. I'll make sure of that.

[She absolutely will, leaning into the hug as she continues to cry. In the back of her mind, it occurs to her that she's being childish, but--

She just can't deal with this right now.]

Everyone does.

[It's a whisper squeezed out between gasps for air.]

I keep- losing everyone...

. . .

[ it's childish, but understandable. she gets it too; seeing everyone you care about die in spite of knowing that their souls are safe is honestly hard to deal with.

hell, Inaba doesn't even know how she's managed to pick herself back up after Saturday.

maybe she's just tired.

tired of being in pain, of having the Foundation get the reaction they want out of them, of everything. honestly, she wants to collapse. but she can't. for everyone's sake, she isn't allowed to do that at all.

and seeing Saki like this just tears her heart apart.

she considers Saki a friend.

and someone she cares about. maybe she just misses her own family, when she wonders to herself if this is what it's like to have an older sister. she was always the youngest child in the family - aniki was the only one who bothered to care and notice the changes in her heart.

but she's been here without family for the longest of times.

she's never really considered anyone before as found family, but with Saki...

maybe she wants to try a little harder. ]

I can't say that isn't true. The world is a cruel place. People are cruel. This game? Is bullshit.

Seeing Dazai pull shit like that is bullshit.

But Saki... you're still alive. You're still here. I'm here. Karen and Ellie are still here. And there's Oda, and Akira, and—

My point is that not all hope is lost yet. If you give up, only then will we lose everything. You have to stay determined. None of us can make it out of here without you.

[Breathing is still- difficult. Her whole body is still shaking, but at least she can open her eyes.]

Wh-what use am I...?

[Her voice is so quiet. Almost a breath.]

I miss them so much, Inaba. And I'm so tired of outliving everyone I love.

It's okay.

[ she'll give Saki what seems to be a reassuring pat on the back; even if she's having trouble, at the very least. . . she can do this much. it's the only thing she really can do, and she isn't sure that words will be enough.

they never are.

but she wishes that what she can say would be. ]

I miss them too, Saki. But it'll be okay. We'll do our best to make it okay. I promise.

[She gives a long exhale, trying so desperately to pull herself together. Trying to get even a semblance of a grip on herself again.]

I don't-- think I can sleep here anymore.

[It's just too sad. Their room, once full of warmth and loved ones, is now just a pile of pitiful memories.]

I won't force you to.

[ she says that calmly, but there is an obvious shake in her voice there that she just can't entirely ignore. she just feels kind of... sad? pitiful that Saki is leaving this room, but at the same time she gets it.

but...

Inaba has already made her decision. ]

But just know that if you ever want to come back?

[ she's reminded of her future self--

of the words that was told to her future self--

"You don't hate us, right?"

"Of course not."

"Okay, that's good. Well, just come by whenever you're ready. We'll be waiting for you."

and that's when Inaba smiles. it's something a little wistful, but understanding. and she repeats the words that Iori said. ]

I'll be here, waiting. For you. And for Karen, too, if she makes the decision to sleep elsewhere. Even if we're apart. . . we're still a part of the same team. All four of us.

[ not three.

just because Mitsuru isn't alive doesn't mean that he still isn't a part of their team. ]

So it's okay.

[ she's going to stay here. she won't run away again. she might wind up alone, but...

at the very least, she'll have raised a proverbial middle finger to those people watching this by not giving up on this room. on this space, where she made so many fond memories. and especially considering that this House has feelings, too. ]

Edited (oops) 2019-07-23 15:45 (UTC)

[She nods, feeling rather rotten herself. She knows in the end she's running away from her problems, that she's running from phantoms that aren't even there - because they're still around, still helping, still hoping. But the room just doesn't bring the same feelings of comfort as before. Instead, it's only grief.]

I'll- maybe I can stay in the green room...

[She's starting to become more coherent, raising a hand to wipe away at a tear that isn't immediately replaced by more.]

It's probably better than the couch again...

[ it's okay.

running from problems is... something that Inaba is all too used to. she used to run away because she was scared, terrified.

she's always considered herself as a coward.

but people didn't think her as one, and--

maybe for once in her life, she wants to be brave. brave, not reckless. ]

If you want to. I won't stop you, Saki. If that's a decision. . . that you really want to do.

[She falls silent there. Because, in the end... it isn't something she wants to do.

But that's the problem.]

I don't want to do any of this.

. . . Then what do you want to do?

[ she has to ask. because she feels like it's important. ]

I don't know.

[And that's the part that's most depressing - and frustrating.]

I don't want to see my loved ones die. [But she can't do anything to stop that.] And coming here and remembering all the time we spent together...

It's too much.

[ "I don't know" is an uncertainty that she definitely can work with--

it's something that she kind of feels about certain things. after all, the future is uncertain. there's nothing that they can know about it.

but-- ]

I don't either.

[ her words are firm, but there's sadness there. ]

But. . . I don't want to forget the memories I had here. The warmth. The happy times, the sad times. The times where I wanted to run away or cry. The times where I just couldn't sleep out of fear.

I don't want them to just become a haunting memory like that, Saki. I don't think it's what they would have wanted. It's not fair to them to become something that will only hurt those that are still alive.

[ she understands, after all...

what it's like to be on that side. ]

I don't want to forget it, either.

[And that comes out quickly.]

I could never wish away any of my memories. No matter how deeply they're buried, they're still there - and it would just hurt even more knowing that something was missing, no matter how sad it was.

[This is apparently something she feels strongly on, and how could she not?

Shun...]

One day, I'll be able to get closure and look on it fondly, but right now...

[ she understands that she feels strongly on this.

and to be fair, she doesn't think she has the right words for this. ]

I don't like anyone being missing, either. But if you're not there, it's not--

[ it just isn't the same.

it isn't the 'Blue' room without you, Saki. ]

I. . . won't force you, though. If you need your space, then you can have it.

[Blue is integrity, he'd said. It's not bravery, not perseverance.

Maybe she's the righteous sort. But that doesn't help her at all when it comes to facing down sorrows that lance through her heart so.]

I--

["I'll be back" is what she wants to say, but the same integrity stops her. Because she can't really know that for sure.

She can't know anything with that kind of certainty right now.]

I'm sorry. I'll... see you around.

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Week 5

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