Week 4, Saturday

[foundationmods]

[As everyone files into the studio once more, they will be invited up on stage instead of to their audience seats as they normally are. On the far left of the stage is a set of 16 chairs, one for each living contestant, arranged in two rows of 8. On the right is a podium for Dazai to stand at, and in the center is a big board with spaces and numbers on it.

Once everyone gets settled in, it's time for the game.]

Comments

cw: suicidal ideation

[iblistriggered]

[Silver opens his mouth like he's going to say something, but then stops. He knows this mood. He only recently clawed out of it himself.

He knows there's nothing he can say to make her change her mind right now. Even the best advice would fall on deaf ears. So, change of tactic]

So what then? What's next? Are you going to give up? [judgey words, but his tone is surprisingly not] ... I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to give up, too. To just... quit trying at all and really see if I can go home for real. I mean, what the hell good am I? I just happened to be in the hallway when Otete called out. But I'm not going to stop yet. I'm tired. But it's almost easier to just keep moving forward.

cw: suicidal ideation, continued

[oceanicbutterfly]

...I don't know.

[When Karen responds, she sounds oddly calm. Like they're just talking about going to the grocery store or something.]

The others... they wouldn't want me to. If they were here they'd tell me to keep going. They wouldn't even have let me get this far.

[She smiles sadly, and now her voice starts to waver.]

But that's the problem, isn't it? They aren't here. I'll probably never see them again. It's just a question of how long I'm going to live without them.

lbr it'll probably be a RUNNING THEME

[iblistriggered]

Yeah... my friends from home... they'd say the same thing. "You can't give up, Silver! You're stronger than that, Silver!" But I'm not sure that I am.

[sigh]

But they're not here, and we are. So if I, or you, can't find a reason to keep going for ourselves... then maybe...

yep, still cw

[oceanicbutterfly]

Maybe...

[After a second she shakes her head.]

It's stupid. Of course it is. I know it is. There are people here, in this world, who'd be upset if something happened to either one of us.

[It's just hard to see that as enough, sometimes.]

[iblistriggered]

And yet a part of you says "who cares what they think? If I'm not happy, then what's the point".

...

But a bigger part doesn't want to hurt them like that with my selfishness.