cw_suicide: (174)
Dazai Osamu ([personal profile] cw_suicide) wrote in [community profile] thefoundation 2020-05-10 05:33 am (UTC)

cw: suicide-ish

[well. no reason to keep secrets anymore.

Ango coming on Monday and all.]

... "good" and "bad" aren't concepts that I really believe that strongly in. Whether you kill someone or save them--someone generally ends up dead, right?

I joined the mafia thinking that being so close to situations where humans experience the most intense of emotions because of violence, greed, and survival... maybe it would move me enough to have reason to live.

It didn't work at all. I only found less reasons to want to.

So I thought.

... before Odasaku died, in my arms... he told me to try to be on the side that saves. That it wouldn't help that emptiness, but maybe... it would make me a better man. Just a little.

It's actually a foolish kind of endeavor but... I am still here. Somehow.

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